A peak inside my mind and you may never return to read anything else.
Let's get straight to the point. I daily lose focus of what really matters in life. Daily. I am pulled in so many directions with so many different distractions that many nights I go to bed and think, "My boy is nine and I have been married for almost fourteen years.... where did the time go?"
I have nine more years until he's eighteen. Nine - that's it.
Have I done enough? Am I doing enough? If I am honest with myself (which I usually am), the answer would be no. There is far too much yelling that goes on from me on a daily basis. The computer and cellphone are way too distracting. It's so easy to escape into the online world and forget your daily responsibilities. I tell him "no" way more than I tell him "yes" and I'm not affectionate enough with him.
Lately, I find myself rushing through Bible study so I can get online and catch up on everything that happened while I was asleep. Really?
I like to ask people tough questions. I like to ask the questions that no one else will. I think it's time I started asking myself a few tough questions. It's time to reevaluate my time and see if it's lining up with my priorities.
Even though I am an adult, and I think that I don't have to answer to anyone for my actions, that is false. Someday, I will stand before the Lord and He will ask me what I did with my time, money, and His people that I am called to love. How will I answer?
I turned thirty-seven a couple months ago, and if you times that by two, I am possibly halfway through my life. There's nothing I can leave behind when I go except my faith in God. My great, great, great grandchildren will probably not know who I am. They probably won't even know my name. I pray they have a strong faith in God, and maybe it will be because my husband and I had a relationship with Him and made it a priority in our lives.
You see, cycles in families work both ways. You can have a cycle of alcoholism, drug use, or abuse and those cycles are not worth repeating. They need to be broken. You can also have a cycle of strong faith in God, right priorities, and good character. Which is more appealing?
Does that mean that if I do managed to get my poop in a group, and do everything that I think I am supposed to do, my boy will turn out to have a strong faith in God? Not necessarily. He will have to make that decision for himself. I can't make it for him. I can't make anyone's decision for them. I wish I could, but that's not how it works.
I think the most important thing I can do for my family is to be an example. You know that saying, "Walk the walk, don't just talk the talk?"
I want to walk the walk. I want my "yes" to be "yes" and my "no" to be "no." I want my boy to be able to say as an adult that his mama showed him the love of Jesus. I want my husband to say at my funeral that she was a great wife but the most important thing in her life was her relationship with God and loving others. I want to hear the words "Well done, good and faithful servant" from my Lord and Savior.
I'm telling you folks, time is short. Sometimes, for some people, it's even shorter than we think it should be.
When it says in Matthew to not store up your treasures on earth but in heaven, it's because life on earth is short and life after death is forever. It's more important that you invest time and love in people while you are here rather than stuff. People can live forever...your treasures (stuff) cannot. Moth, rust, and thieves will destroy your earthly treasures, but the legacy of faith in God and love for others will continue. Hopefully it will continue to your great, great, great grandchildren.
Get out your Bible, friends, and get on your knees. Get your priorities in the right order and I will be doing the same.
~Jenn
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